That's My Girl

Bobby was living with a guy in the early '90s on Dyckman Street who later told him that he had HIV. He then moved to the Bronx with his beautiful girlfriend Glenette, who he was with for a few years. They never had sex. Then everything changed, "One night I was really, really, really fucking horny and I was like 'baby please' and I begged her so much and she was going to give me sex… [but then] I said, 'Do you know what? I can't do this to you… If I have sex with you now, I will rearrange your whole fucking life… fuck the sex." Suddenly, his words began to slur and tears flowed down his face, getting trapped in his beard. Before parting ways, he told her, "I can't lay next to you every night and not want to make love to you." 

She was wonderful, keeping him off the streets and away from alcohol (he started drinking at 14 and was completely addicted by 18). He had been sober for a while since he began treatment. But one night, he said to himself, "Just one drink." Of course, that one sip of alcohol got him right back into the rut. Out of nowhere, Bobby began selling all of his punk clothing in order to feed his addiction. He said to me, "every time she pops into my head, I push her away and I try to think of another thought; I don't want to think about her, so my mind focuses on the alcohol instead." It hurts me to even talk about this. The saddest part is that every time I see him, he can't remember my face: it's as if his mind presses "restart" when he blanks out. It's the same stories, same everything. He always says, "you're the only one that actually sits down with me and has a full conversation with me." Last time I saw him—feces oozing out of the bottom and back of his pants—he told me, "I got a habit, I got to feed it: it's calling me, it's in my brain, it's screaming 'Bobby, come get me,' and I'm going to get her." As he stands, a visible stain is left on cement from his excrement. He begins crying: "I want to call her… I love her with all my heart: she means everything in the world to me. She's always stood by me. That's my girl. I don't like to talk about it, it gets me stupid. You should've never brought her up." Thinking I was going to shoot up with him, he warned, "You're not using my needle though—you have to get two sets. I'm not letting you use my needle. I have The Virus, you know."

Photographs & Words: Abdul Kircher

SKIN

George and Louie messaged each other on tumblr, then asked each other for their numbers on Kik, and began to text message all day and FaceTime every night. Both were aspiring models, hoping to land that big modeling deal. They agreed to meet in New York City, because there is no place better than NYC, to fulfill that dream. After a year of working at Walmart, George finally saved up enough money to be able to purchase a one-way ticket to NYC. 

George: “I didn’t tell my mom I was moving to NYC. I told her I was gonna stay in this expensive model apartment, knowing that I was going to come to NYC to nothing. I had no idea where I was going to be staying.”
Louie: “My mom kicked me out cuz me and my stepdad had a really bad relationship. So he said ‘either I leave or he leaves’ so my mom kicked me out the house. At first I stood with my aunt in NYC, but the living situation was terrible there, her house was full of bed bugs and cockroaches.”

Louie landed in NYC before George, but still met up the night George arrived. They met up that same night in the Bronx, and headed down to Union Square to roam the city streets. 
Their first kiss: “We were going to the bathroom in Starbucks and no one was around so we just started making out.”

Louie was staying with his photographer friend and George with his agent who he couldn't stand living with.
George: “I ran into some Buddhist monks and they just took me to this place and told me to start chanting, and I started chanting ‘Man I hope K**** [photographer] lets me stay at his place and the same night he said I could stay with him.’”

After living with the photographer for a month, complications began to grow, which led him to ultimately kick them to the curb without notice. No money, jobless, and no place to go. 
Louie: “It’s 1AM when he kicks us out, so we sat at the corner of his block and these people that bring homeless people to shelters drove up to us and took us to a shelter for teens, but it didn’t open until 9AM. So we went to Central Park and slept on the grass until the next morning.”

Louie was currently working at Ann Taylor but didn't get paid until next week. So they ended up staying at the shelter for a week. In the meantime, George began working at Topshop and catered their events. After saving up for a bit, they still didn't have enough money to get their own apartment, so they turned to their mothers. Both mothers provided the rest of the money in order to rent a single bedroom for $200 a week in the Bronx. 

Louie lives by, “Give but you cannot take love.”
Geroge lives by, “Always take a chance, even if you’re scared.”

I’m not sharing their story to show signs of failure, but to show how brave these two men were to move here on their own and follow their dreams. And to show that every dream comes with hardships that you must break through. So I truly wish them the best. Keep striving and inspiring, don't give up. <3

- AK

Photographs & Words: Abdul Kircher

SINK

Words: Abdul Kircher

Queen of Queens

The Queen Of The Night. The Queen Of Queens. Long Live The Queen.

Photographs: Abdul Kircher

When I was 16

2 Sides
I wonder who’d look at me twice
if it wasn’t for my eyes
who’d actually try to see what lies
behind
the green grass and ice blue sky
they don’t see what I see
a whole bunch of people on top of me
all because of my eyes
mom always wished
for this
and when I turned one
it’s what she got
I guess I’m special in a way
I mean that’s what she always said
and it always stuck in my head
but I can’t help but question
what I would be
or who I’d be
or if I’d see
anything differently
of course not literally
but you’d never understand me
to you it’s not a big deal
maybe to you it’s just a pair of eyes
but maybe it is what makes me
sometimes I wonder
if the colors mean different things
if the blue on the right
means innocence in my being
or if the green
means anything
and at 16
my eyes have witnessed
so many things
pain, vanity, betrayal, happiness,
bitterness, beauty
in everything
and even when I dream
the dreams will never compare
to the beauty in life
that my eyes have seen.
-AK

Words: Abdul Kircher

No Boundaries

Smoke and Julissa are married and have been together on and off for the past few years. Through altercations between them last year, Smoke currently has a restraining order and is not supposed to be anywhere near her or their 1 year old son. A few days before I met Julissa, Smoke called her up and asked if they could meet up. I've never seen Smoke like this, scared and nervous, he didn't think that she would agree to meet after what happened between them (private information). Smoke's hopefulness was fulfilled and Julissa agreed to meet. Their love was immediately reborn and freer than ever. 

Smoke's famous quote: "I don't need no rubbers with my wife" ...
In fear of another baby on the way, they head to planet parenthood and get a pregnancy test. As Smoke and I wait in the lobby, you can see his anxiousness, he gets up walks around, grabs a cup of water, gulps it down, sits back down, shoves his head into his hands, impatiently waiting for his wife's results. Julissa walks out the door with a blank face, she doesn't tell Smoke her test result until they get outside; a big smile appears on her face and he knows exactly what that means, no. 

Photographs & Words: Abdul Kircher

This Is It

You kind of just go on day by day, not realizing that this is all going to end one day. Life flashes by you before you know it. So let's live it up. This is our night, our last night.

Photographs: Abdul Kircher